Special day

Today is your day. I think of you every hour of every day and I do everything I can for you to be proud of me. I love you and miss you so much.

Feliz cumpleaños D!

Going for a retro look. My darling looks good in anything!

Miss you a lot!

Today is a very special day. Not because it's a sunny day in London - it's because it's my handsome hubby's birthday. Today he is 32 years young. But he looks like he just turned 25! I feel bad that I can't be there in Madrid with D today, because I would really like to celebrate his special day properly, but I will make it up to him after my CFA exam. I promise!

Not a single day goes by...

My father loved watching and listening to nature, especially the small birds. And they seemed to be equally interested in him. Every time I see a small bird, I think that if we reincarnate my Dad would be a bird.

...without thinking about the fact that my father is not with us anymore. I thought the hardest thing would be to go through the funeral, but I was so wrong. It was almost easy compared to what is to come - learning to live without him. He has always been there as a part of my life that I always took for granted. I guess that's normal.

I remember the first time I spoke with Dad about death and realised it would happen to everybody - even my parents - I was about 4 or 5 years old. I was so sad and worried and my father told me that I didn't have to worry about now or for many many years to come. "When you are 80 years old - an old lady with a cane - I will still be here 100 years old". Those words calmed me down and I stopped worrying, because I knew that what Mom and Dad said was always right. Those words have stayed with me since then and in some way I always though of them as some sort of promise from my Dad's side that he wouldn't pass away before reaching 100 years of age. Of course, as I got older, I started to understand how unrealistic it was. Very few people live until they are 100, but I still thought... "maybe" in the back f my mind. And now that this tragedy happened, I realised how much comfort I actually took in holding my Dad to his "promise" and almost felt fooled. He didn't keep his promise. Me, an almost 30 year old woman, on some level still believed my Dad would reach 100 years of age... The 5 year old egocentric me is still inside me. I just had no idea how big that part was until this happened.

Saknar dig så mycket, Pappa.

Nerdy Breakfast!

Today I'm battling derivatives

Mmmm.... carbs!

I am proud of being a nerd. Currently I am super nerdy. I study every chance I get, before and after work. I even went on a study date this week to meet up with my dear partner in crime and fellow CFA L2 taker, MC. After having studied efficiently in the library, we went for dinner and a little treat - an ice cream dessert with toffee! We deserved it!!

Today, I have a loooong study day ahead of me. That's why I  have prepared a super nice breakfast for myself. One cup of espresso coffee, 1 toast with avocado spread all over it + Spanish cheese and Chorizo, 1 toast with butter and jam - simplicity is divine sometimes! - a kettle full of energising Ginseng tea and lemon and a bowl of blueberries.Bring on the tough CFA stuff!

My favourite photos

I think I will do as many other bloggers and have some standard categories in my blog. My first new category is "My favourite photos". I will share some photos that mean something special to me. 

The above photo is taken in Japan 1985. I can't believe it was 25 years ago because I still feel like a little girl inside!! :-). I like this one very much as I am with my beautiful mother wearing my favourite dress. And the Mickey mouse ears of course! Not very fashion conscious those days... (I'd like to think I have gained some over the years, but feel free to disagree!)