The nicest thing

I had an amazing birthday party yesterday. I couldn't have wished for anything else. It was perfect: my brother and his girlfriend J, my bfriend D, my best friend M and her husband V, my closest friends in London and ex colleagues were there... It was an amazing turnout. Also, I got some incredible presents. Each and every one so thought through and great. It just goes to show how well they know me... I love them so much. 

One special gift stood out among all the amazing presents. A gift that cannot be bought with money. It was a poem from a very special person in my life. I can't even begin to describe how honoured I feel, how much it means to me and how beautiful I think it is. This is something very special that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

If this is how it feels to be thirty I have not the slightest thing against it! Bring it on! 

30

Today is my birthday. I am turning 30. Actually I was born in the middle of the day on the 16th of September 1980, so technically I'm not 30 yet. It is a few minutes after midnight now so I have to go to bed. I also have another big thing coming up tomorrow: My last day at work. I think it's going to be an emotional day. Both happy and sad.

It will be my first birthday without my dear father. That hurts very much. But in some way I know he will be here watching over me. Like in the poem below, by Henry Scott Holland. I have to think that he is still here, just not the way I am used to.

Now I will remove my belly button piercing. I think I just outgrew it. ;-)

Before

After

Henry Scott Holland

Death is nothing at all

I have only slipped away into the next room

I am I and you are you

Whatever we were to each other

That we are still

Call me by my old familiar name

Speak to me in the easy way you always used

Put no difference into your tone

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed

At the little jokes we always enjoyed together

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was

Let it be spoken without effort

Without the ghost of a shadow in it

Life means all that it ever meant

It is the same as it ever was

There is absolute unbroken continuity

What is death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind

Because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you for an interval

Somewhere very near

Just around the corner

All is well.

Nothing is past; nothing is lost

One brief moment and all will be as it was before 

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

Life is changing...

This year has been so full of bad news that I find it hard to believe when something good happens. I always think: "OK, this good thing happened. What other bad thing will happen now to destroy this moment?".

I resigned from my position in IDC almost 2 weeks ago. Just before going to Mallorca on my holidays. The reason was that I had just been offered a job with the competition. It's not like they just called me up on the phone to offer me this, naturally. But a friend of a friend was looking for someone with my background and my friend said "I know just the girl!". 6weeks and 4 interviews later the jobs was mine. I still can't believe it is true. I will be doing more or less the same thing as I do now, but for  brand new product and for more money... Maybe I will buy myself my beloved Louboutins with my first paycheck? I think I deserve them now!!

My favourite photos

Pictures from July

D enjoying the sun in Spitalfields

Bubba in the grass

Surprised!

Vanity

For those of you who have actually seen my blog before, this will be a big change. Literally going from black to white. The new picture is... well a product of my own vanity. Maybe it's my reaction to turning thirty. Can't really say I have experienced anything remotely of a crisis, but lately I have been reflecting over the topic of age and ageing... I understand the amount f pressure actresses are under and hey - I've never even been close to showbiz. So when I got a very good deal on a pampering session plus professional make up, hair stylists, photographer and, oh yeah, a professional airbrusher (!!!) I was kind of intrigued! 

Me and a friend went for the pampering and photo shoot with the idea that we would only go for the pampering and the experience and then take just the one free picture that was free with the photo shoot. Boy did our vanities play us a trick!! We ended up with more than one picture each and they were NOT cheap, I can tell you. One of them was the one above - but in colour. 

I think it might have been something I would like to keep for the days in the future when my small boobs sag to my belly button and have a wrinkly raisin face and I can tell my grand children: "I know I look like a witch now, but this is how I used to look!!!" and I would get a "wow!" back from them. Not because I think I look so darn good, it's because I expect the worst from my ageing process... I will probably not age well... So the "wow!" would come from the reaction - "what a difference!!". Does that count as a 30 year crisis? In my book it doesn't!

I like!

I saw this door mat once when I was in Sweden with my parents. My dad liked it because it is his sense of humour and since I have inherited the same sense of humour I love it as well. It's on sale, maybe I should get it for myself? It's just one silly thing that is stopping me... As I think it is hilarious and it is an item that is in front of your front door and not inside my house... I'm afraid someone that thinks it's equally funny's going to steal it!! Oh silly me...

My favourite photos

I remember this day in Japan. I was four and a half and it was my first time to try on a kimono. I loved it! I felt like a Japanese princess and posed and posed in front of the camera. Of course I had no idea how to pose in a cute way so I just did what I thought was cool... putting my hands together like a Buddhist priest on the majority of the pictures. This is one of the rare ones my dad managed to snap while I had my guard down... sneaky!!

My grandfather is sitting next to me. He was such a good grandfather and even though he passed away many years ago I remember so many details about him. Even how his clothes used to smell. I liked that smell.

Madrid maravilloso

Although it has been raining a lot during my staty here in Madrid, I must say it is a very beautiful city with a lot of fun things to do and nice food to eat!! Slowly I have been re adjusting to the life before the CFA and it is wonderful not having to study all the time!!

D has been showing me around the city and it has been very nice spending some time with him again. I got 2 (!!) nice presents from Tous because he thought I had done a really good job studying... very sweet!!

Tomorrow it's time to go back to London again. A short but sweet visit! Can't wait to come back here again!!

CFA L2 exam done

I can gladly say that summer has officially begun for me. I went to the exam in Stockholm after a week of studying without interruptions at Mom's place and did my very best. Not sure it is enough but considering how tough this spring has been, I will not kick myself to much if I don't pass. I did everything I could have done.

Tomorrow I'm off to the Spanish capital to see my man. Can't wait!

Madrid, here I come!!!