Another year, another birthday

So on the 16th of this month, more or less 10 days ago, I had another birthday. My 32nd to be more precise. Contrary to many other people, I actually like getting older. I mean, I have nothing against people knowing my age and as long as the years come one at the time I embrace every new year with open arms. I think the key is to do something special out of every year: like studying something you always wanted to learn, travel somewhere you always wanted to visit, make new acquaintances or simply make sure you are having a good time with people you love. For me, I have been happy with what I have accomplished with each year and I think that keeps me happy in general. This year I'm going through something very special: I'm   pregnant with my first child. What makes it even more special to me is that I get to experience it alongside the love of my life. Together we are a team and that is such a reassuring thought.

From my birthday get-together - the first one with children invited, but definitely not the last

The day after my birthday I had my 2nd  scan(well it was actually the 3rd, because we had to do the 1st one twice). It was an exciting day as we got to see our little one again. It was confirmed that we are indeed expecting a boy. He was sleeping during the scan and the doctors couldn't take all the measurements in the angle he was lying so I had to shake my belly and jump up and down to wake him up so he would move. He did indeed wake up and didn't seem to be happy at all and gave me some angry kicks I could definitely feel! Later in the evening, D could feel the first kicks from the outside as well.

Our little boy

As a parent-to-be you always worry about the child's health and you may come across people for example born with only one kidney or just with one arm and you think: what if that happens to my child? You never know. I carefully asked the doctors during the scan if you could detect cerebral palsy during a scan. The answer was "no" but she reassured me it wasn't common. D then said that we had worried a bit and because we had been watching the paralympics the previous weeks, we had suddenly gotten even more ideas in our heads to be worried about. The doctor was a bit surprised but laughed and said, "don't watch the paralympics if you're pregnant and sensitive". Crazy parent-to-be worries... :-)

More changes

Things keep happening and they all seem to be good changes. Me and D have been looking to buy a flat or house of our own for some time now. We even though about it before he moved back here. It just seemed like reasonable thing to do now that we have decided to stay in the UK for another few years. After having been to many areas and seen many properties we got to a new development. It is not very far from where we live now but far enough for us to have to take the tube instead of walking to work, like we do now. But 12 min on the tube is not bad at all. It just ticked all the important boxes for us, so we are almost in the process of buying it! Just a few technicalities to clear up first... It won't be finished until next year so the little one will be here with us when we move. He/she will even have his/her own room in the new place! Can't wait!!

Changes

I haven't written in quite a while now and the reason is: I always just had one thing on my mind but it was the one thing u couldn't write about... Yet. I'm now 14 weeks pregnant expecting a baby in February 2013 with my D. We are so happy and excited about this. Our lives will change completely and in certain ways they already have. So far we are enjoying every step of the journey.

Another change that happened today: I cut off my long hair, hence the picture of me.

A bit of positive thinking

Studying in the office

I'm using one of the conference rooms as my corner office. So nice and peaceful. Better get to studying and not blogging as I have lots to cover today.

Studying again

Yes, I decided to go for it again. I couldn't let it go. I was so close to passing last time that I couldn't help myself. So I'm stuck with the books again and lost most of my social life. Will get it back in 5 weeks...

Smiling

A few weeks ago, on the 22nd of February, two years exactly had passed since I lost my dear father. I thought about it the days before, but on the actual day -  in the morning - I didn't remember what special day it was. I could only think of the dream I had just had that made me wake up with a smile.

I dreamt a happy dream - my first happy dream about dad. It was a very short one, but enough to bring happiness into my heart. Me and dad were eating sweets - polkagrisar (Swedish mint candy and also mine and my dad's favourites) - from a water filled (don't know why it was water filled) jar together and laughing and joking like we used to. It was such a happy dream it made me forget what kind of sad day it was supposed to be.

Maybe it's silly but, in some way I think my dad spoke to me through that dream, telling me I should be happy and that he's there for me always.

Thinking of my dad

It's been almost 2 years since dad passed away. Actually, next week it will be exactly 2 years. It doesn't feel like it has been that long. It is still hard but not as hard as it was the first year. Don't get me wrong: the feeling of sorrow and pain doesn't go away. You just learn how to handle it. To put it in the back of your mind and not let it be the focus of your life. But it is till there. A big empty hole of something that is not right. Someone that is missing that should be there.

I was looking through a few of the earliest posts in this blog - from late 2009, I think. My dad had made me a video - basically the video was done but you needed to upload a picture to it to give it a personal touch and a meaning. I watched it, remembering how it made me feel the first time I saw it and re-living how it made me feel the subsequent times after he passed. Of course it made me cry... but also smile through the tears because it was just so ...Dad. Pappa. So kind, thoughtful  but also funny at the same time.

http://www.tackfilm.se/?id=1259076119414RA32

I miss your hugs, Dad. Love you forever.

So... I'm getting a flat mate

Welcome back to London D!

Christmas & New Year

 

 We went to the cinema together. Saw "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo"

 A short but sweet visit to Sundsvall to my cousins' family home. Got to do some story telling for E - my cousin C's handsome son.

 D got to experience really cold temperature in Sundsvall. A new record for him : -13! Playing on the ice was also something he enjoyed!

 Out in the cold

E opening his X-mas presents. The wrapping paper was probably the most fun present.

 Another first experience for D. My cousin's loved one, P, is showing D how to do it right.

 Turns out even I had been good, so I got something from Santa. A Santa that surprisingly looked a lot like my brother

 For New Years I went to Spain to enjoy the festivities with D's family

 My New Year's outfit

Unfortunately this is the best pic of D from New Year's eve that I have. But take my word for it: he was very handsome.